My husband never has any time to spend with me. He is in medical school, which I knew would be very demanding and time-consuming. I thought I could withstand it, but we grew apart. I had my life and he had his. My husband and I are very different. He is extremely laid back whereas I have a complete type A personality. I constantly told my husband that I felt like we were drifting apart, but he never took me seriously. Most of my time was spent alone and I craved attention. Last fall, I woke up one morning and realized I was unhappy so I asked him for a separation.

During the time we were separated I became close with a friend. Although our relationship was strictly platonic, I found myself receiving all the attention that I ever wanted from my husband from him instead. My husband and I reconciled and are trying to work things out. The problem is that now I don’t feel the same love for him as I once did. I feel like I fell out of love with him. Is there anything that I can do to fall back in love or will it be this way forever?

Advice: Take a stab at falling in love again with your husband. It may be you “fell out of love” with your husband because that other man gave you the attention that he didn’t. But you do need to take into account how grueling your husband’s schedule is and the fact that he might be tired most of the time. If you can tough out this training time in your husband’s life, things might get better later. I know it must be hard for you to have so little time with him – but you did know this would happen.

So you are a Type A and your husband is a laid-back type. To tell you the truth, I don’t think you’d be happy with another Type A – and your husband might be just the type you would do best with as far as a mate is concerned.

Take the initiative in showing affection and doing thoughtful things for him. I had a friend who decided to do something about a similar situation with her husband. So she started running to the door when he came home and greeting him with a hug and a kiss – and doing whatever the Lord led her to help restore the love they had had. It worked! After a week she was back in love with her husband.

In Christ’s love,
Dr. Muriel