“Mom … please tell me what you bought me for my birthday. Please …!” My daughter pleaded while giving me the saddest puppy-dog-eyes I’d ever seen.

I had a choice. I could allow her to unwrap the gift early, spoiling the joy and excitement of waiting for her actual birthday, or, I could help her understand the value of patience, trusting the future blessing would be well worth the wait.

After all, there’s just something special that happens when we wait for that special-something we desire. There are so many biblical instances of God’s people waiting for their promises to be fulfilled. We must assume that God is on a far different timetable than we are, and that He has a better plan than we could ever imagine.

So it is with sex. Yes, sex! I’m going to share a little secret; actually, it’s a topic clearly discussed in the pages of the Bible. This so-called secret is: God created sex. He did, really. God created sex to be a reflection of His perfect love between a man and a woman — a husband and a wife. It wasn’t immoral, or shameful until man made it that way. Sexual unions became polluted because waiting for marriage, and following God’s perfect guidelines and timelines, were considered too confining, too boring, and just too difficult. Instead, people of all ages are now opening the gift early, and rather then finding lasting emotional, physical, and spiritual pleasure, they are finding, at best, a temporary, physical substitute that never provides the ultimate pleasure God intended for us to experience.  Not to mention, an array of unpleasant and even deadly consequences that prevail today because of our impatience and desire to do things “our way.”

Let’s for a moment investigate the Garden of Eden, after all, that’s where this whole male/female relationship thing started, isn’t it?  Eve might share the following, if we had the opportunity to ask about her relationship.

Imagine, knowing only love and contentment. You awaken to find the love of your life gazing down at you while the crisp grass tickles your toes, and a lion saunters up to give you a playful lick on the cheek. During the day, you explore the most exquisite masterpiece of real-estate ever to hit the market, or world for that matter, and in the cool of the evening you sink your pearly whites into the most succulent fruits imaginable.

Then, as if that weren’t enough, you, your husband, and the King of Kings enjoy the dimming, dusk hours in deep, meaningful conversation where you are the apple of two sets of adoring eyes. Finally, you end the evening, following the most sensuous and fulfilling love making, snuggled securely in the arms of your mate, listening to the gentle tunes of nature’s very own nighttime symphony playing solely for you. Ummmmmm.

Life in the garden was good. God proclaimed the creation of man as “very good.” He was pleased with Adam and Eve. After all, they were made in His image, male and female. But, as we all know, this perfect existence, and the future of relationships, was forever altered when Eve, and later Adam, decided one afternoon to sink their teeth into the wrong piece of delicious fruit. Sin blasted into the world like a freezing artic wind, bringing death and destruction in its wake. Nakedness became shameful and relationships, including sex, became distorted. Along with all of God’s gifts, sex became counterfeited. Like fake hundred-dollar bills, sex doesn’t buy love or happiness unless it is experienced within the guidelines God created.

We spend a great deal of time, as Christians, talking about the evil of sex when wrongly used, and certainly, as history has clearly demonstrated, the consequences of refusing to follow our Creator’s perfect plan for sex are none too pretty. But what about the joy? Pleasure? The amazing intimacy that results from a healthy sexual relationship within a marriage relationship? Do we ever talk about that? We spend a great deal of time pointing out the negatives when simply sharing about the incredible benefits might serve us, others, and God much better. So, What are those benefits?

1. Sex in marriage is guilt-free and exciting. Listen to this:

“May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer – may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love.” [Proverbs 5:18-19 NIV]

Wow! Rejoicing, blessings, satisfaction, being captivated — marital sex can provide all this and more.

2. A healthy sexual relationship provides intimacy.

How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice!

Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments is like that of Lebanon.

You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. (Song of Solomon 4: 10-12)

Not only does Solomon refer to his wife as his bride, but also as his sister, implying they share an intimate brother/sister of God relationship, which includes intimacy with each other and with God.

3. If adhered to, sex according to God’s perfect plan of a loving and committed life-long marriage would also eliminate:

• Extra-marital affairs
• Teen/crisis pregnancies
• STDs (no worries about sharing diseases when you’re with the husband/wife of your youth, always)
• Incest
• Pornography and prostitution

4. Staying within God’s boundaries allows for multiple blessings and a deeper relationship with God.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. (Mathew 5:9 NIV)

5. When we obey any of God’s guidelines we experience His love on a whole new level. As

…but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments. (Exodus 20:6 NIV)

Pleasure, protection, blessings, love, intimacy, excitement … are just a few of the amazing benefits to godly sex. Friends, God has our best interest in mind, always. When we follow Him, we truly experience rewards beyond our greatest expectations.

Some of you may feel discouragement and shame as you read this article because you did not follow God’s perfect plan for sex. Please know, God can make you brand new — right now. He can redeem you and set you free from the tentacles of shame that hold your heart captive. Through Christ, we can be restored, renewed, and redeemed. Those of us, who have missed the mark, can still experience the blessings of a godly marriage and healthy sexual relationship, if we’re willing to accept God’s forgiveness and trust in Him.

God’s Word tells us:

He is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness. Hebrews 5:2 (NIV) And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. (Hebrews 10:10 NIV)

For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit (1 Peter 2:18 NIV)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 NIV)

We may never recapture those first moments as shared between Adam and Eve in the Garden, but, with God’s plan for sex and marriage, we can experience joy and pleasure by knowing that God’s blessings rest upon us. Healthy sex  is one gift worth waiting for. Don’t unwrap it ahead of time. Instead, wait for God’s best.

If you have fallen in the area of sexual relations, please pray the following prayer and expect God’s best.

Dear Lord, your Word tells us that if we come to You in repentance, You will forgive our sins and purify us. I have missed Your standard in the area of sexual purity. I have ________________ (had premarital sex, committed adultery, etc.) and fallen short of your glory.  I so desire to experience a godly marriage with a solid and fulfilling sexual relationship. You created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage covenant. I choose to wait for Your best for me. I will no longer settle for what is not pleasing to You, what harms me, and hurts others. Help me to find healing. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit.  I now look forward to experiencing sex Your Way with all Your benefits.. In Jesus’ Name Amen.