Lost Boys (and Girls)

Written by Kent Keller

He was 52 and his father in his mid-70’s when they learned about each other. No kidding – they had each lived all those years without knowing the other one existed. Well, the son, whose name was John, knew he had a father, or had at one time, but his mother had told him that his father had died after abandoning them. And the father, whose name was Bill, had never been told he had a son. I can’t even imagine what each of them must have thought and felt when he learned about the other one, and that he was alive and well. I can’t begin to understand their anticipation as they met each other … after all those years. I doubt anyone can, really.

But everyone can understand how wonderful it must be for a father and a son to be reconciled after all those years. If reconciled is even the right word: if they didn’t know they were estranged, did they need to be reconciled or merely introduced? Either way – we all can resonate at some level or another at the beauty of a coming together of a father and a son.

It’s not too late to come home

I doubt there is a better-loved story in all the Bible than that of the lost, or prodigal, son in Luke 15. With the possible exception of the Incarnation story itself – the one about God becoming a man, Jesus of Nazareth, living a perfect life and dying a vicarious atoning death for us on a vicious cross, and rising from the grave three days later – other than maybe that, I can’t think of a single story in the Bible more widely embraced and adored than the story of the son who was lost and then found, and the father who never stopped loving his boy.

We love it and relate to it because all of us are or have been children, and many of us are, have been, or will be parents. Many of us, if we’re honest, would admit we have had periods of strain or estrangement from our parents or children. Sometimes those episodes have happy resolutions, sometimes not. Whichever, our hearts beat with father and son – together, estranged, reunited – and their universal experience.

Do you feel far from God?

As I write this, I am aware of a number of people who would probably consider themselves “prodigals”: alienated from God, a friend or loved one, or the church. They are isolated from God or others because of their own sins, or sins that have been committed against them. If their isolation stems from sins they have committed and believe are unforgivable in the eyes of God or the church, they wear the ragged clothes and tattered sandals of the prodigal. If they stay away (again, from God or the church) because they believe they have been wronged, they dress themselves in the proud garments of the older brother. Either way, they are isolated, separated, lost. And neither one needs to be. The Father loves both kinds, although in rather different ways.

That’s the truth that shines most clearly through the story in Luke 15. By all rights, the father in the parable should have given up on the lost son, written him off, cut his losses. He would have been completely justified in turning to the older son and placing all his hopes and affections on him – the one who stayed faithfully at home. But he didn’t.

He kept rising early in the morning, gazing down the road in the direction he had last seen the back of his foolish boy as he wandered off, rejecting his home and his life with his father. Instead of disowning him, the father continued to love him, continued to wait for him to return to his senses and to his rightful place.

God still loves you, always will

That’s the message, the unbelievably good news, of the gospel: God loves sinners. He loves the ones who have sinned against him and against others, no matter what. If that doesn’t sound very Reformed or Presbyterian to you, I’m sorry. You haven’t understood the gospel or your heritage very clearly if you don’t understand that “God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). Whatever it is that you have done that makes you think you must stay away from God or his people, it is a lie. If you are longing to return home, you will find your Father waiting to meet you there with open arms.

The late Henri Nouwen wrote a beautiful book titled The Return of the Prodigal Son. In it, Nouwen – a Jesuit priest – speaks eloquently and passionately about how each of us has within us the potential to be both brothers. Of the elder son, the one who stayed home and resented his younger, rebellious brother, he writes:

Looking deeply into myself and then around me at the lives of other people, I wonder which does more damage, lust or resentment? There is so much resentment among the “just” and “righteous.” There is so much judgment, condemnation, and prejudice among the “saints.” There is so much frozen anger among the people who are so concerned about avoiding “sin.” … [Their hearts cry out]: “I tried so hard, worked so long, did so much, and still I have not received what others get so easily. Why do people not thank me, not invite me, not play with me, not honor me, while they pay so much attention to those who take life so easily and so casually?” It is in this spoken or unspoken complaint that I recognize the elder son in me.

Many people believe that the story found in Luke 15:11-32 shouldn’t be known as the Parable of the Prodigal Son, but as the story of the Loving, Merciful Father. I agree. If you are one of the estranged, I hope you will read it and let it speak to your heart. Don’t let fear, or guilt, or resentment or anything else keep you from it. And having read it, I hope you will do what the younger son did: run home to your Father, run home to your rightful place among his people.

Rich Mullins wrote a very moving song about this story called “Growing Young.” He says it better than I can, so I’ll let him end this:

Everybody used to tell me “Big boys don’t cry”
But I’ve been around enough to know that was the lie
That held back the tears in the eyes of a thousand prodigal sons
For we are children no more, we have sinned and grown old
But our Father still waits and he watches down the road
To see the crying boys come running, back to his arms
Growing young, in the Father
Growing young …

If you’re lost or estranged, come home. Your Father waits, and your family loves you.

Take the next step:

Jesus came to wipe the slate clean
How can I relate to God?
Are you far from home? Come talk to a mentor

 

Tags: becoming a christian, come home, faith & spirituality, Family, lost, prodigal son, reconciliation, reunite

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