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To earn someone’s trust is surely an honour beyond measure; therefore, it is unsurprisingly one of the most fundamental elements of a strong and successful relationship. Copious amounts of time and effort go into building and maintaining trust. Consequently, the moment the trust is betrayed, the relationship starts to tremble at its knees. Dealing with an unfaithful spouse is indubitably one of the hardest ordeals any relationship can go through. Whether you are at the receiving end of the betrayal, the unfaithful spouse, or even a friend of someone undergoing such plight, life coach Beth Scholes offers some tips as to how to face one of life’s darkest moments.
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I need help, I’m confused and hurt! I’m a 29 year old female with two kids that just now file for a divorce, before our divorce I always call my childhood friend (married man now) for advice cause he’s always good at that, he’s the type of friend you can count on in the past, I feel happy whenever I talked to him, sometimes when we don’t talk about how my husband always cheats on me we talked like we were back at High School we call each other nick names than we have a good laugh and that always helps me through my divorce.
Just recently his wife broke our friendship and it really upsets and hurt me. I always call him at least 4 times a week just to talk and he calls me too just to ask how I was doing, we text each other all the time and it was not a problem until his wife replied to my text “don’t u ever send my husband stupid smiley faces again” from his cell phone. I was so shocked so I send him a FaceBook msm asking him why his wife was upset with me, minutes later I got a msm back from Facebook it was her saying that “you need to go see a therapist for advice, quit telling my husband how your man cheat on you and how he mistreated you, we got our own problems to deal with and I’m so sick of him telling me how bad is your stupid marriage….and yes he’s next to me he knows what I’m doing your not the first female friend of his I did this to….stop sharing your drama”
I cried and cried I don’t believe my best friend was there, he’s not the type that would just sit back and let something like this to happen… so I send him an email saying “please let me know your ok” he called me later that day saying I need to stop sending him emails and I need to stop trying to contact him cause his wife is accusing him of cheating and that she’s going to take their kids away from him and divorce him so he deleted his Facebook same day. I don’t want to lose a good-friend like him since he’s the only one that listens and understand me at my time of need. I send his wife a FB msm telling her that were just friends and I apologize to her for not adding her to my friends on FB also,
I told her that her husband told me its not a good idea cause she’s very jealous, I tried my best to be nice to her by telling her that her husband always talked about her and their kids I tried to fix our friendship through her but she’s replied with a hateful msm back, she refused to get along with me she said its too late for that, she said she gave me over 3 years for me to add her as a friend and that she knows I talked to her husband but now she’s not ok with it anymore. Her husband called me again telling me that the reason he wants to end our friendship its because my husband send his wife a msm about him and I, he told me he wanted to know who he is and why his wife talked to him a lot, he also said he don’t want me or my husband to contact his wife or him trying to explain anything. I called my husband and ask him why he contact her and he denied everything,
I hacked into his Facebook and found his conversation with her but its ALL HER she told him to tell his ugly wife to keep our divorce to ourselves she was very rude. I send my friend an email again so I copied all my husband and her conversations and paste it on the email, I want him to know the TRUTH that his wife is crazy she’s making stuff up to break our friendship, after few minutes I send it I got an email back, I kew it was her cause she cuss me out with a lot of hateful words, I was laughing at her for getting busted so I send his email a reply back ”LMAO” seconds later my best friend called my cell,
I was so confused cause he was so angry at me, he cuss me out and he didn’t even give me the chance to talk, he act like a total different person he was yelling at me, I ask him did he read the email from me? he said “yes I read your f@#$$#@ email thats why I’m calling you right now, he said that I ruin his marriage by trying to explain the situation than he hangs up. I was shocked and so sick to my stomach that I cried and cried that day I was confused I didn’t do anything wrong I don’t understand why he’s so angry at me why he disrespected me why he just end our friendship like its nothing, please help me I don’t know what to do, I want to fix it but I don’t know what else to do I know in my heart he doesn’t mean the bad words he said to me I know he’s a great man I really want our friendship to continue…what did I did wrong? I know this man longer than his wife!!! she turned him into a different person,please help I need to know how to make him listen & gain back his trust
@Nancy, you are chasing a married man and are destroying another relationship because you are lonely as your relationship has ended. His wife is right she has the right to protect her relationship. He will never be able to heal your hurt in your heart as if you go and seek Christian woman to pray with you. I am not trying to be mean with you but often in life we do not see what is really occurring in our mind. The healing of your heart will only occur when you ask Chrishim to show you why you have hurt and where it comes from. I understand the desire to be with someone as I have been alone for many years.
Your peace will come when you look to Christ and develop a relationship with him as you will never find peace with another man who is married. It is not right to create strife in another family as this is not what God has designed for a relationship. You are fooling yourself if you think that it is just friends as the very nature of a female and male is such that we are wired for intimacy and have to guard against that so please stop fooling yourself. YOU may not be attracted to him sexually but he may very well be and this is completely wrong I don’t believe in the friends theory between man and woman as eventually it will become deeper.
Lord Jesus,
I pray that you will be with Nancy and the she will seek you instead of trying to save a friendship with another man which is causing strife in his relationship. Lord I pray and ask that you will comfort her and that she will seek help of other christian woman who will be able to give her advice and that she will have the courage to move forward.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
You may want to talk to one of the online mentors as they would be able to give you advice and pray with you .. God Bless..