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Every night I get a phone call from my husband. He drinks and then drives home drunk. I cannot get him to quit, and I feel like its my fault because I have problems myself. He is very gifted, but sometimes sits at home very sad, like there is something missing in his life.
Advice: The first thing you need to do is to begin going to Alanon meetings. It’s the AA meeting for family of alcoholics. They will give you local support and guide you step by step in how to get help in this situation. Call information for the number of AA or Alanon in your area. You will get at least one phone number. The people on the other end of the phone conversation have a lot of experience helping people caught in this web. If you are attending a church you also can call the pastor and ask for him to meet with you and with both of you, if your husband is willing. When you talk to your husband about his drinking, only own your part; what makes you afraid. “I am getting very anxious about your drinking. I am afraid for other people who are on the road when you drink and drive. People are killed everyday by drunk drivers. I love you too much to have you spend the rest of your life in jail for manslaughter.”
Then stop talking and pray that he will begin doing some thinking.
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I have the SAME PROBLEM only he drives with my son who is 9 years old too! I have talked to him the way suggested-owning only my part, telling him my concerns and worries-to no avail. It’s like he thinks he’s invincible!He sees me only as telling him what he can and can’t do instead of telling him how much I care about and love him. It’s so frustrating!
Simple. One phone call to police that he is driving drunk. Tell them his location and license plate number. You can make that call annonymous. You’re just as guilty as him if you let him drive drunk. Someone could get killed.
He needs help, an overnighter in the drunk tank, stiff fines, and a jail sentence should wake him up. If not, leave him.
Very good point Debbie! Calling the police is an excellent idea and they won’t tell them how they found out….