I have a two-and-a-half year-old daughter that I’m trying earnestly to potty train. Her latest reason for peeing and having a bowel movement in her underwear and on the livingroom rug is “I don’t want to.” What am I to do? I also have a 1 year-old son to chase after.

Advice: There may be one good reason she may not want to. She may feel like she’s had this brother thrust upon her without her having a choice and your wanting to potty train her is making her more distant from you. In another six months she may be more ready. By that time her brother will be moving into his separation phase from you and she will see that she can please you (get your attention) by being a big girl and doing her thing in the pot. How about easing back for now.

Spend time each day with her reading to her. One day when you are shopping with her, let her pick out some grown up underwear, with ruffles, etc. and have her help you put them away for the day when she decides she would like to be a big girl and use the toilet like you do. Show her your pretty underwear and give her a reason for growing up. Many little kids don’t want to grow up. Show her the perks. Until then keep her in diapers. Change them both at the same time. Have fun with them. This all will be history only too quickly.