Love…Where Are You?
Published: January 20, 2011
What is love? Is it definable? Is it a feeling? A passion? Is love always romantic? The dictionary defines love as, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection for a parent, child, or friend, sexual desire, affectionate concern for the well-being of others, the benevolent affection of God for His creatures or the reverent affection due from them to God.”
Passions and feelings can be fickle; they can change. So, where do you look for a love that lasts?
* in a bar
* in a friend
* in a marriage
* in a father or mother
* in a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Is it found…
* in status
* in things
* in money
* in a career
* in notoriety
* in possessions
* in power or position?
Where is this love?
If you’re looking for love in the people or things in the above lists, you’re looking in all the wrong places. You must first look inward. If you have no love within you, you will not be able to give love to another.
Do you yearn for that special love, the kind of love that believes in you, nurtures you, encourages you, supports you, comforts you, is always there for you? Do you wonder if this elusive, unchanging, lasting-forever-kind-of-love exists? It does exist. This love comes in the person of Jesus Christ.
You love yourself and others, you find that perfect love, when you give your heart to Jesus. He loves you. Have you loved Him back? The disciple John wrote in one of his letters, “We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19, NKJV)
You have been loved with an everlasting, all-sacrificing, all-forgiving, unconditional, perfect love. You are beloved. Cherished. To die for. Jesus says to you, “You did not choose Me, but I chose you.” (John 15:16a, NKJV)
You are the one He loves; He gave His life for you. “This is My body which is given for you.” (Luke 22:19 NKJV)
The apostle Paul wrote, “Long before [God] laid down earth’s foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love,” (Eph. 1:4a, The Message). When you know this kind of precious love, you will begin to truly love yourself and others. Your love life will be in order.
So, what or whom do you love? If I asked you to answer, without thinking, what you love the most, what would be your immediate response? Your boyfriend or girlfriend, your spouse, your children, your car, your bank account, your physical appearance, your iPod, your cell phone?
Jesus asks you, “Do you love Me more than these others?” (John 21:15, TLB)
“We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in His love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.” (1 John 4:16-17a NLT)
May you know this perfect love.
Experience Pure Love and Forgiveness
Monique, it sounds like you have led quite an adventurous life that is still ongoing and getting closer than ever to marriage. In his landmark book on marriage, Tim Keller remarks that marriage is instituted by God for whom self-giving love is an essential attribute and therefore reflects His nature, particularly as it is revealed in the person and sacrificial work of Jesus Christ. Thus, the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other person and this is why this article speaks out that “this love comes in the person of Jesus Christ”.
From a practical standpoint, then, your marriage needs to be centered on Jesus Christ and a decision to be committed to one another no matter what, From that commitment, unselfish love can again flow between you and FP as you receive Jesus’ love for yourself. May God bless your future with or without FP.
Hi I’m new to this site, having been sent here by my online mentor. And I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. As I came across the love topic, what my mentor and I have been discussing, due to a situation that I am currently going through, I felt the need to sharey situation here and maybe it will encourage someone else.
June 13th of this year, I came across someone that I went to school with, well we went to the same school bldg from elementary, about the 5th grade or so, until my first semester of high school. He was a year ahead of me. I had like the biggest crush on his fraternal twin brother, but due to my extreme shyness, and low self esteem, I never said two words to the guy. Anyways so I come across this guy on Facebook, his name is FP. And it was his birthday, because I remembered him, I reached out and wished him happy birthday. He thanked me. And I noticed his t-shirt, with the emblem Ag2G across it, his business logo and I asked him about it, it stands for All glory to God. I thought it was cool and I told him so. He offered to send me a T-shirt when he ordered more and that’s where it came out that we went to schooltogether and I had a crush on his brother. He claimed he remembered me but I didn’t think so because I was a nobody. We would talk again a week when I would wish him happy fathers day and we chatted for a minute. It would be a week later, maybe two, we would talk on the phone. About how he was married for 17½ years, his ex wife had been verbally abusive. Then towards the end of the relationship he had a brain aneurysm, that left him having to learn to walk and talk all over again. Soon after he left after she threatened to push him downstairs, and moved back into his families home and she filed for divorce and they’ve been over for two years. Now me on the other hand, I’ve never been married, I’ve given birth to six kids, lost one to a seizure two years ago Christmas eve, and I have four baby daddies. I’ve never thought about marriage, I’ve only been in relationships because of wanting to give my children a sense of normalcy. In the end I would step out of the relationship, and just move on. I got my tubes tied after my four year old was born, since I had a tendency to have sex w/o protection and got knocked up. So I cut out the middle man. Him and I talked about my past, how I just did drive bys(booty xalls) not relationships. And so we continued talking, texting when we could. We started and ended our day with each other. I didn’t think about sex or anything like that with him, he was a friend that I wasn’t trying to sleep with now, which was a first for me.
So in July we would have an opportunity to see each other when I would be in the city where we grew up in. It was agreed before hand that we would have a drink, talk and go our separate ways, he didn’t have sex on the first night, which was understandable, I didn’t push the issue. So he picked me up from the train station, we would get something to drink, he would take me to my motel room and we would talk, listen to music, nothing sexual, although he did become infatuated with my skin, rubbing on me. Lol. The night ended with us falling asleep in each others arms, with him fully dressed and me in my birthday suit. We would talk all day after we went our separate ways.
He soon learned how to video chat and so we mostly video chat.
I’m making it quick now. He’s met my kids and they are nuts about him. We’ve seen each other a total of three times since July. We sit in his car, watching movies and just making out and talking. We’ve gone to his favorite restaurant. And just enjoy each other’s company. Sex still hasn’t entered the picture, but I’ve been OK with that, because I’ve been waiting on him. But the more time we talk and communicate, the more I find myself falling for him. And I find myself in unfamiliar territory.
A week ago I called his phone and his oldest son answered, which wasn’t normal. I would be told he had been rushed to the er the night before, like 15 minutes after leaving me a voice mail message. He’s still there with pneumonia. I went to visit him a week ago and I didn’t know what to expect. When I walked in his room, he was a ventilator with a machine breathing for him, heavily sedated. My heart dropped in my chest. I didn’t stay long and spent like the next two to three hours in tears because I realized that I was in love with him and I couldn’t bare to see him like that. Its been a week and I find myself missing him like crazy!!!
But I’ve been finding myself growing closer to God as I give FP over to him, the entire situation over to Him. Especially since I find myself thinking marriage where he’s concerned.
to Lynn thank you much appreciated thanks for praying for me too love Sharon
Sharon, I have one of those in my life as well. All I can say is that you ask God to love through you, that His light and love will soften the heart of that person. Love shows God to others. And it takes patience. Praying that your heart is filled with God’s love for this person and they, in turn, are changed by God’s love. Blessings to you!
Flower, yes, love does hurt sometimes. And sometimes leaves an empty space in our hearts. However, the Lord knows your hurt and desires to fill it with Himself. He will bring the right person at the right time into your life. And that love will be so much sweeter. Saying a prayer for you. Be blessed!
good article I love the title. two good article that I think are for me I have a love problem with a family member how do you love a person that hurts you all the time. good question love where are you in some relationships thank you for posting this
Love is so risky. You love somebody and he knows it and even then he hurts you. But even then we can’t live without love. I miss that person. Some part of me is empty because that part was for him and now it’s gone. I love Jesus and I know he loves me but still he created love between people and we hurt each other.
i think that those kinds of love which could be fickle were the steps of my feet to reach that real love in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. like walking the steps up to go to upstairs the best rooms of the house. boyfriend or girlfriend, spouse, children, car, bank account, physical appearance, iPod, cell phone,… they are not bad they are just there so that by the means of them we can achieve that real goal. what is important is that we should not stay there and must not stick to them. God bless you.
Praveen, please forgive me for not responding sooner. I have been very sick. You have received some very good advice. I pray you find that the heavenly Father awaits you to come to Him, to sit in His lap, to talk to Him. He will wrap His arms around you and speak to your heart, giving you comfort and peace. There is no greater love. Praying for you.
Hi Praveen. Connie & Doris have given you the invitation to accept the LOVE that God offers. This is God’s perfect timing, as He has prepared your heart to receive. I thank God for reaching out to you!
Dear Praveen,
I agree with Connie that we are so glad that you came to this website and that you can know without a shadow of a doubt that God is not only real but He does love you and want you to come to Him. His arms are open wide. This article explains a bit more what Connie was talking about, about how you can begin that personal relationship with God. http://powertochange.com/discover/faith/discoverpurpose/
Also, we have wonderful online mentors who would love to email you and walk alongside of you on this journey of getting to know the God who loves you unconditionally. Just fill out the form on this page http://powertochange.com/discover/talk-to-a-mentor/ and a mentor will email you back.
Dearest Praveen,
I can tell how much you’re hurting. I also don’t think that it is a coincidence that I “just so happened” to be on this website on the very day that you made this post. I don’t know if you will come back and read these comments,but I’m trusting that the Lord will use this response in whatever way He sees fit.
I don’t know what your situation is, but I take complete confidence and comfort in knowing that God does. He is real. He is available. He’s completely aware of your condition and He’s wants you to come to Him.
Step toward Him. How? Start by talking honestly and openly to Him about your hurts and concerns (just like you talked on this website). Second, go to the Bible and start learning about Him. Go to the gospel of John if you’ve never read the Bible before. God is powerful and He’s personal.There is absolutely no person on this earth that can give you the love you seek. Human love will always be incomplete; go to the source Praveen…….you will not be left wanting.
i want love i don’t have mom n dad love now i want love i want feel the love i’m waiting for love plz so one love me
love is like a feel in avery one heart
Yes, Emmanuel, you are so right. Thank you so much for taking time to read and comment. I’m honored. Blessings to you!
Thanks for reminding us of truly loving God first, then we can also begin to experience greater dimensions of love. Thank you very much