Life Snapshot > Meet Daniel
Quirks and Quacks
The kitchen is on fire!
A chef in Malaysia once told me that there were only two jobs in the world that were absolutely certain: a doctor because people will always get ill and a cook because people will always need to eat.
Until leaving home, I couldn’t cook to save my life but motivation from that infinite source of inspiration for a man (if you guessed a woman, you’re right!) prodded me to give it a shot.
Like Michael Jordan, I felt the only thing I could impress a girl with was being a “kitchen-mack.” That juvenile ambition soon blossomed to genuine passion when I discovered that people didn’t die from food poisoning and most even enjoyed my dishes.
My favourite recipes are those which combine different ethnic flavours – even though fusion cuisine is so ubiquitous in big city restaurants I still get a lot of pleasure from trying my own concoction with Thai, Indian, East Asian, Italian, Greek and Mexican mixes.
Knowing what you are putting into your system, making healthier (and often cheaper) food choices and having the ability to make simple, delicious meals is definitely an asset (and yes, it makes you a very attractive person!).
It is something I think anyone can be good at and should try out. I really enjoy cooking with friends and family; it is something that definitely brings people together like few other things can.
College Living Tips – Recipes all students should know
Patch Adams: Please write me if you can
Another hobby of mine is collecting post-cards from around the world (and sending them on occasion). I’ve built up a modest collection of about 30 all over the globe from Taiwan to Hungary. I love receiving handwritten stuff in the mail and a post-card from a friend from a different location never fails to brighten my day.
It all started in 2002 when I watched the movie Patch Adams starring Robin Williams and realized that it was a real story. This inspired me and I went surfing for more information. I soon found the real Patch online and discovered that he enjoyed receiving postcards. I sent one from Brunei never expecting to get anything back. But a month later, the man himself sent me a letter and postcard from Japan! I’ve been a post-card junkie since.
Dreams, Hopes and Ambitions
When I close my eyes
Nothing has fascinated me as much as the World Map or a globe. The whole earth with all it’s people, places and needs. With this in mind, finding work that is meaningful and that I’m passionate about is very important to me. And I truly want what I do as a career to have an impact at the place where I am and also to the world at large.
I care deeply about the spiritual condition of people, health issues, social justice, the environment, music and sports. I want what I do to inculcate each of these aspects or at least some of them.
But sometimes, less can be more – I’m learning not to compartmentalize things in my life or try to do too much. I have a problem with over-committing and having a lack of follow through. And I know that the “real world” is notorious for killing dreams.
I still think having faith and refusing to let circumstances dictate your life are keys to living beyond mediocrity. This may mean embracing the arduous reality of a disciplined life where the unglamorous rigours of staying faithful to the basic things that bring you towards your goals needs to happen day in and day out.
Caught the Travel Bug?
Eyewitness: Poverty in Bolivia
Meeting my sponsor child
Travelling in Search for Life
The Road More Travelled
The places and faces while growing up
I was born on the coastal town of Madras, in South India. I was an only child and since I was two, I would barely see my dad for the next eight years as he traveled overseas to work.
I grew up with my mom and grandparents and my mom really struggled to make ends meet. But she would never let me see her suffer, would always placate to all my demands and wishes. Life was simple; playing cricket, board games and stealing mangoes (an important rite of passage) were my primary activities.
When I was about 10, my mom and I moved to a little country called Brunei where we rejoined my dad. It was very different – language, culture, people and environment. I really struggled to fit in. But somehow, I picked up fast and made some great and amazing friends.
Since Brunei is a more diverse social environment, growing up there helped me develop an awareness of and ease in other social settings. Even though it is a very affluent country, my family was only lower middle class. We had to live out of a re-furbished car park for over five years. And since East Indians are a small minority, there was the definite presence of both direct and indirect forms of racism and discrimination. Thus I was very self-conscious about my background – both of my ethnicity and socio-economic status.
One factor that was constant in my family was our Christian faith. In India, it is very common to be nominally Christian and flaunt that status and discriminate others (see Arundhati Roy’s The God of Small Things). But due to separate spiritual experiences of my grandmothers, faith in the person of Jesus Christ was very much real and very important in my family. This is where I learnt the difference between being religious and being spiritual (i.e. having an active relationship with God).
I moved to Canada when I was 18 to attend at the University of Waterloo. This would be the genesis of change and challenge both tumultuous and joyous.
Experiences at University
The mind is a terrible thing to waste
When I came in to university from overseas, I had an idealized vision of what the experience would be. But the initial transition was really traumatic due to the distance separating home and also the added pressure of making the most of this privileged opportunity. I felt very alone but quickly dismissed these feelings as symptoms of weakness.
But being connected to other safe people is vital to thriving in any environment. There is a story in Jhumpa Lahiri’s book Interpreter of Maladies which narrates a story where there is a rare power cut in New York City. This incident magically draws people closer together as the darkness causes people to depend on each other. A marriage is saved, a feud is dissolved and a community is born. To me this encapsulates the notion that it is people and our relationships with those around us that really matter.
In my experience, university is a great opportunity to truly get involved in your passions and other people’s lives. Being a person of assorted interests, I got involved with a lot of clubs ranging from ballroom dancing to the orchestra. And it paid a lot of dividends into my personal and social growth.
But activities for their own sake get mundane after the novelty wears off. You need more. I found really meaningful friendships and a group of people who weren’t afraid to ask deeper questions: about purpose, meaning and God. I found that safe haven, that true community. It changed the rest of my university experience. I’d encourage anyone to get involved and seek out people and clubs that strive to discover more about God.
How do I search for God?
This, that and everything else too
University life is really a potpourri of experiences – I’ve found that it is really what you make of it. First and foremost, I am a student. So it is very important to pursue academic excellence or at least be passionate about what I am learning. It is challenging for me as I have a learning disorder.
Getting to know profs one-on-one outside lecture hours is a great investment. As you reach higher years, you notice people look up to you even without you wanting them to. I had the opportunity to go back to residence and be an RA (Resident Advisor) or a Don for a house of about 60 first year students. It took a lot out of me but I got a lot out of it. It’s a real joy to be a part of someone’s first ever experience of university and their triumphs and mess-ups.
College Relationships
Making Friends in University
Meeting People in First Year
Conquering Loneliness
Descent to the depths
My main issue has been my confusion about my personal identity and consequent struggle with depression and suicide. Since I’ve moved around so much, I’ve had a genuine case of identity crisis as a ‘third culture kid’ (i.e. someone born in one place, grew up in another and then trying to settle down in a third new setting).
I’ve always felt out of place – first as a “fatherless,” “Christian” in Hindu India, then as an “Indian” and “Christian” in Muslim Brunei and finally as a foreign student and pending immigrant of Canada.
This severe lack of identical peer groups to belong to can cultivate an odd sort of superiority complex, which ironically, it is rooted in insecurity. The way it works is that you think you are better than everyone else, but only because you are terrified you will never be accepted and loved if you thought otherwise.
I developed a fierce sense of independence, which blinded me to my intense need to belong and my added vulnerability in being away from family and everything familiar. My hidden insecurities slithered out when I stifled a relationship with someone who was important to me through excessive demands and clinginess.
The devastation and numbing shock that followed the fall-out was accompanied by other concurrent trials, which only amplified my inevitable melt-down.
I was diagnosed with depression and battled with a steady stream of suicidal thoughts. It was truly a ‘dark night of the soul’. Without the unending love, support and prayers from family, friends, colleagues, bosses and professors, I really don’t think I would be here. They practically carried me for an entire semester before I could even begin to pull myself together.
Tikun Oolam – fixing my world
A close friend told me that “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
This really hit home recently when the brother of a good friend took his life at a very young age. It is really heartbreaking; because while those negative thoughts encircle your consciousness, you just can’t grasp just how un-retractable what you are about to do is.
I really want to help other young people struggling with depression and suicide. I believe that there is an often overlooked, deep spiritual component to this issue.
God was very faithful to me in my battles past and present, even though I didn’t give a rip about Him. I know this struggle is probably life-long, but I know with confidence that I will never walk alone.
My Faith and Spirituality
For a long time the Christian faith was merely a source of identity for me – it meant something that stratified me socially and culturally.
Although I devoutly followed and accepted Jesus, I had not fully grasped what following Jesus was about.
When I was 13 I attended a Christian “youth camp” in Brunei. It was there where I really came to understand that this relationship with God was not based on anything I had done or ever could do, but stemmed from God’s undeserved love – grace, they called it.
Moreover, Jesus was not a God who just gave commands and sat back smugly, but was someone who has gone through similar scenarios, worse struggles and promised to be there for each person as they go through pain and frustrations (see Hebrews 4:15 ). That really struck a chord in me.
Although I believe he was at work in my life long before I was even aware of it, I had to actively choose to let God change me into the person he intended me to become.
Things did not immediately change, and even now I am still learning things I ought to know by now. But change did come. I became less anxious and worried about things as I learned let go of my need to be in charge or in control over the details of my life. It is really freeing to realize and remind myself that I should chill because God is always in charge.
I also began to reframe my definition of success. Success is something I still need to actively work towards and not passively expect God to drop things into my lap. But when I do experience success and achievements, I do not look to them to help constitute or validate my existence. A deeper security is nurtured and sustained in my relationship with God. That’s far more pertinent than basing my worth on my individual successes and failures.
The Indonesian/Malay word for thank you is “terima kasih.” It is very poignant as it literally means “I have received love.” This is how I choose to live my life now – not by whining, but out of gratitude.
God promises that he is faithful to finish the good work he has started in each person who believes and follows him (Phillipians 1:6 ). This is a promise that God makes to all those who choose to accept him and walk with Him. And so, I journey on with anticipation, excitement and a sense of adventure.