College Life: Meet People and Make New Friends
You just moved into your college dorm, unpacked that spanking new comforter, and bid your parents goodbye.
But after you admire the stack of new textbooks and school supplies on your desk, the excitement wears off and you realize that you have just left behind everyone you know. Your best friend from high school, your ex-boyfriend, the girl who lived down the street from you… are nowhere to be found in the sea of unfamiliar faces passing your window.
Part of you can’t wait to start meeting new people, but the other part is unsure how to find friends on a bustling college campus.
The good news is that you are not alone. Every other freshman is in the same situation, and most of the people on your floor or in your Intro to Biology class are dying to make new friends just like you are.
Opening Doors to New Friendships
You can increase your odds of making friends by leaving your dorm room door open when you’re studying or hanging out. (But lock the door when you’re not in the room.) This will communicate to people that you are approachable and open to new friends, so they can drop by to say hello or ask about a homework assignment. Invite them in and strike up a conversation. Play music or make popcorn and let the buttery scent to waft down the hall. Someone is bound to drop by, giving you an opportune moment to share a snack and start a conversation.
Bonding in the Bathroom
One unexpected but ideal time to meet your floormates is in the floor bathroom. I admit that initially the thought of sharing a bathroom with twenty other girls disgusted me, but I soon realized that it can also be an incredible bonding experience.
When you go to brush your teeth or dry your hair, you never quite know who you’ll encounter, so the key to bathroom etiquette is remembering the golden rule. Lend the person next to you some toothpaste when they need it, and he or she will do the same for you.
Striking Up School Spirit
An opportunity to meet people outside your dorm is at university-sponsored events for freshman or the general student body. Some people blow off events like the freshman barbeque or floor meetings, claiming they are too juvenile, but student leaders go to great lengths to plan events that will help freshman meet people and feel welcome on campus.
These offerings can be a great way to accomplish both if you approach them with the right attitude. Be friendly and exchange email addresses or phone numbers with people you hit it off with.
But be wary of people who want to be friends with you for the wrong reasons (sleazy guys or girls who want to be “friends with benefits,” people who try to use you so they can copy your Chemistry notes, or use you socially, etc). It can be flattering when someone approaches you for help on an essay or science lab, but there’s a fine line between “helping” and “doing.” Both of you will be in trouble if you let some guy charm his way into copying your homework assignment, and you won’t be helping anyone since he won’t know the material when exams roll around.
Anyone who uses you for homework purposes is not really interested in your friendship and will leave you as soon as the semester ends. It’s fine to help explain an assignment or proofread an occasional paper, but make sure both of you are pulling your own weight.
Playing into an Arena of New Friends
A sure-fire way to meet people who share your interests is to join a club or sports team. Check out the debate society, the all-campus choir, or a volunteer organization. Joining the musical theatre troupe at my college was the perfect way for me to continue my obsession with musicals and meet dozens of people who share my passion, including the guy I have dated for the past six months.
Making Friends in Real Life, in Real Time
Try to get out of your room as much as possible and avoid being sucked into instant messaging or phoning old friends to complain about how homesick you are. It will only make you more homesick and prevent you from meeting new people.
By getting involved on your new campus, you’ll be so busy that you won’t have time to feel lonely or homesick.
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